Fidgit tag:,2009-04-07:/19 2009-04-07T23:07:31Z All video games, all the time. Movable Type Enterprise 4.24-en Fallujah shooter cashes in on the situation in Iraq tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14824 2009-04-07T15:07:57Z 2009-04-07T23:07:31Z April 7, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Hey, look, a Wikipedia entry based solely on a Gamepro preview has sprung up for Six Days in Fallujah, an upcoming shooter that uses the invasion of Iraq (pictured) to get press as its setting. It's being developed by Atomic... Hey, look, a Wikipedia entry based solely on a Gamepro preview has sprung up for Six Days in Fallujah, an upcoming shooter that uses the invasion of Iraq (pictured) to get press as its setting. It's being developed by Atomic Games, a division of Destineer, and published by Konami, who managed to engineer a big wet sloppy uncritical kiss from the Los Angeles Times' Alex Pham.

Read all about it -- I'm afraid I won't be kind -- after the jump.

]]> Among the choice quotes fed to Gamepro by Peter Tamte, the president of Atomic Games, which was once a developer of thoughtful brainy games about warfare and is now a division of the publisher who brought us Iron Chef America, Stoked, WordJong, and Homie: Rollerz:
Ultimately, all of us are curious about what it would really be like to be in a war. I've been playing military shooters for ages, and at a certain point when I'm playing the game, I know it's fake. You can tell a bunch of guys sat in a room and designed it. That's always bothered me.
At a certain point you know it's fake? Would that point be the moment you open the box and discover a videogame and not a notice to report for duty at your nearest military base? Also, to sate my curiosity about what it would really be like to be in a war, I sure as hell wouldn't turn to a videogame. Finally, how else are you going to design a game than by having a bunch of guys sit in a room? Because I'm pretty that's a mandatory step.

Mr. Tamte has the gall to blame the idea for making a game based on Fallujah on someone else.

When [consultants we'd hired] came back from Fallujah, they asked us to create a videogame about their experiences there, and it seemed like the right thing to do.
When director Paul Greengrass made United 93, a movie about the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania during the 9/11 attacks, he explained that he wanted to tell a story about an important moment in history and its profound impact on our national consciousness. In the process of making the movie, he approached the families of the survivors and explained himself. He never once pretended he was doing it because they asked him to. He never once tried to absolve himself of the controversial decision he had made. He also made a very very good movie. I'm just sayin'.

Game director Juan Benito, elaborates on how Six Days in Fallujah will fall under the rubric of survival horror.

These are scary places, with scary things happening inside of them. In the game, you're plunging into the unknown, navigating through darkened interiors, and 'surprises' left by the insurgency. In most modern military shooters, the tendency is to turn the volume up to 11 and keep it there. Our game turns it up to 12 at times but we dial it back down, too, so we can establish a cadence.
Why the coy quotes on "surprises"? That makes it sound like the insurgents went to the bathroom on the floor. Are the words "ambushes", "RPGs", or "improvised explosive devices" too graphic to use? Also, if there's one thing stupider than quoting Spinal Tap to talk about your game based on the US invasion and occupation of Iraq, it's trying to top the joke made in Spinal Tap.

There's also some hoo-ha about how the game will have the best destructible environments ever, better even than the destructible environments from games they haven't even seen yet! Oh, and they're using their own engine to do this. Good luck, fellas.

Maybe I'm being too harsh on these guys, who are playing the usual game of feeding a publication a bunch of marketing guff to kick up interest in their game. But they're certainly not presenting themselves as the kind of guys I want to see recreating for entertainment purposes this sobering episode in the invasion and subsequent occupation of Iraq. The Second Battle of Fallujah was part of a complicated chain of events that include American soldiers firing into a crowd; the ambush, murder, and gruesome desecration of the corpses of Blackwater contractors (i.e. mercenaries); and three failed high-profile attempts to suppress the insurgency with military action.

By way of contrast, consider Black Hawk Down, a story about the bravery and dedication of US soldiers. Many of those soldier told their stories to Mark Bowden. His book was about the people who were involved. He was reporting. Those stories, in the narrative crafted by Mr. Bowden, gave the event a life of its own that migrated into a movie and then a videogame. Regardless of how it was eventually used, Black Hawk Down began as an effort of a reporter to document something that happened.

But the American policy to hit Fallujah hard to no effect is not the sort of thing I'd care to revisit in a videogame that intends to entertain me alongside Call of Duty 4 and Battlefield 1943. What happened in Fallujah is arguably not even war in the traditional sense. It's failed policy. And now six days of that failed policy, six days in which one hundred Americans and 1500 hundred insurgents were killed, are being exploited to sell a videogame.

When Kuma tried to cash in on the war in Iraq as a way to sell their crappy episodic games, they were widely ignored. Hopefully, the same fate will befall Destineer's Six Days in Fallujah. Not that I'm helping matters any...

]]> WCG Ultimate Gamer showcases Halo 3 tonight tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14843 2009-04-07T14:30:53Z 2009-04-07T23:03:22Z April 7, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Tonight WCG Ultimate Gamer finally gets around to a shooter. And not just any shooter, but arguably The Shooter. The eight remaining contestants on the Sci Fi Channel's videogaming reality TV show will play Halo 3 against each other. Hmm,... Tonight WCG Ultimate Gamer finally gets around to a shooter. And not just any shooter, but arguably The Shooter. The eight remaining contestants on the Sci Fi Channel's videogaming reality TV show will play Halo 3 against each other.

Hmm, let's see, eight players? Halo 3? Reality TV carefully engineered for entertainment value? I predict a bit of 4v4 action. And considering that six of the eight remaining folks consider shooters their strong point, I'm hoping for something closer than usual. However, given the way the challenges are so far weeding out players weak at a given genre, anyone care to lay odds that Ciji or Chelsea is going home?

]]> New challenges and multiplayer modes for sale for Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14845 2009-04-07T14:18:35Z 2009-04-07T23:08:45Z April 7, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick If you pony up five bucks to download the L.O.G.'s Lost Challenges add-on for Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts you'll see a new doorway just off the main town square (pictured). Go in there and you'll find yourself on the test... If you pony up five bucks to download the L.O.G.'s Lost Challenges add-on for Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts you'll see a new doorway just off the main town square (pictured). Go in there and you'll find yourself on the test track. Which is nothing new. However, if you look around, you'll discover 12 new L.O.G.'s challenges set on the test track.

If you're not familiar with Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, I should point out that the L.O.G.'s challenges are the worst part of the game because you have to use predetermined vehicles to beat them. In other challenges, you can build your own vehicles, often subverting the challenge rather than beating it. The beauty of Nuts & Bolts is that it lets you break it! But no such thing is possible with L.O.G.'s challenges, which you have to beat by rote memorization, blind luck, and unwavering obsessive persistence. In other words, fair and square. Now you have 12 more to contend with.

I just failed three of them a few times before deciding that I still have far too many things left to do in this game that I actually like doing. If you complete the 12 challenges, you apparently unlock another one of those 8-bit 2D scrolling games the lizard lets you play to earn money. Speaking of which, I take back what I said before about L.O.G.'s challenges being the worst part of the game. That honor goes to the intentionally bad 2D scrolling games, which I beat my head against for far too long before writing them off as a joke. I'm sure there's some awesome unlockable at the end, but I'll never find out first-hand.

You also get three new multiplayer sports and four new multiplayer races, each set in existing levels. Yes, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts has multiplayer. That's easy to forget or overlook what with all that's going on in the game.

Hmm, I'm wondering if this is the most useless 400 Microsoft points I've spent since buying an evening gown and heels for the last Tomb Raider game...

For the true Banjo-Kazooie devotees, there's this little bonus:

L.O.G.'s Lost Challenges will include the blueprints from seven lucky Xbox fans from the United States, Canada and Japan whose winning creations were selected by RARE from the recent "Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts" fan vehicle design contest. The winning contraptions can be unlocked by Banjo fans upon completion of the Stop 'N' Swop feature within "Banjo-Tooie" on Xbox LIVE Arcade later this spring. These incredible machines ranging from a beetle to a carousel and a robot prove that "Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts" is a game where the only limits to your adventure is your imagination.
Hey, no fair! I'd like to see those too, you know. But I'm not about to buy and play through some wretched Banjo-Kazooie platformer just to have a look at them. If there's one thing the superlative Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts could use, it's a more open exchange of player-made blueprints. I'm imagining something like the creature browser in Spore. Oh, and fewer L.O.G.'s challenges, please.

]]> Gamespotting: The Day the Earth Stood Still tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14804 2009-04-07T13:13:37Z 2009-04-07T23:11:50Z April 7, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Jaden Smith is the precious little kid. Jennifer Connelly is his widowed stepmom, who also happens to be a plucky scientist in the field of bio-astro-mumblemumble. In The Day the Earth Stood Still, which comes out on DVD today, they'll... Jaden Smith is the precious little kid. Jennifer Connelly is his widowed stepmom, who also happens to be a plucky scientist in the field of bio-astro-mumblemumble. In The Day the Earth Stood Still, which comes out on DVD today, they'll be brought closer together by a global catastrophe, an alien inhabiting the expressionless body of Keanu Reeves, and Kathy Bates' terrifying performance as the Secretary of Defense.

But first, during the obligatory family life scene, Connelly tells the boy it's time for dinner. He can't be bothered. He's sitting upright on his bed, with a laptop in his lap, mouselessly playing World of Warcraft. Not a look-a-like, but actually World of Warcraft. The game gets a second or so of screen time. He's a warrior, fighting a pair of Naga. He slaps the keys furiously, as if he were playing Street Fighter IV on an arcade cabinet. Also featured prominently in the scene is a giant Halo 3 poster conveniently positioned right by the bedroom door where Connelly enters and exits.

For the record, World of Warcraft is T-rated. Halo 3 is M-rated. Jaden Smith is 8-years-old.

]]> Seven ways The Godfather II could have avoided being terrible tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14832 2009-04-07T07:39:44Z 2009-04-07T23:04:29Z April 7, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Obviously, the folks at Electronic Arts who made The Godfather II have been paying attention to games like Crackdown, Saints Row, and Assassin's Creed, all examples of open-world games that have a sort of strategic layer. So they have some... Obviously, the folks at Electronic Arts who made The Godfather II have been paying attention to games like Crackdown, Saints Row, and Assassin's Creed, all examples of open-world games that have a sort of strategic layer. So they have some idea of what goes into a good game. But they made Godfather II instead.

This misbegotten sequel crams Francis Ford Coppola's classic family drama into something barely worthy of a Playstation 2 and a budget price tag. The Godfather II is a bad game on so many levels. As I was playing, I constantly stumbled across "If they only..." moments in which I glimpsed how this game might have had a chance to be middling instead of actively terrible.

After the jump are seven things that could have kept Godfather II from being awful.

]]> 7) Better combat
Once you get past some obligatory early game punching, most of The Godfather II is gunfights. Sometimes you have a short drive to or from the place where you're going to shoot your guns. But the gunfights are the bulk of the gameplay. So why is it so sloppy and chaotic? Why do I simply direct my shuffling mob of sidekick mobsters to go someplace, at which point wild shooting ensues and most of the bad guys end up dead (I might have to pick off some stubborn guy stuck on the other side of a well)? Why is there no reason for me to ever equip a fellow mobster with, say, a sniper rifle or a silenced pistol? Why isn't there a better cover system considering the strangely labyrinthine levels are obviously built for combat that involves careful use of cover?

6) Better driving
You have got to be kidding me. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when the driving in an open-city game like this feels like the driving in some half-assed obligatory driving sequence thrown into an action game to be quickly played and hopefully more quickly forgotten. So, really, is this how the driving is supposed to be in Godfather II? Come on, really? You guys are putting me on, right? Is this a fake copy of the game and is there a camera hidden in my house? Is Ashton Kutcher about to show up at my front door with a stupid grin and a copy of the actual game? Now to be fair, the game is set in 1959. I wasn't driving back then because I hadn't been born yet, so I didn't have my driver's license. But I'm pretty sure those old heavy cars didn't handle like slot racers. I'm also pretty sure a bunch of these muscle cars weren't invented for another ten years or so, but that's a whole other argument that this game frankly isn't good enough to start.

5) Al Pacino
They couldn't get Al Pacino for this game. And yet they still went with Michael Corleone in a prominent role. So every time this random goombah shows up and pretends he's Michael Corleone, it breaks whatever connection EA expects me to make with the movies. Take the "You broke my heart, Fredo" scene (please!). It's bad enough that the scene is motivated by something completely different than Fredo's betrayal in the movie (in the game, his screw up is relatively benign). But to have anyone other than Al Pacino doing it with John Cazale looks wrong. It would be like Humphrey Bogart telling some extra that they'll always have Paris or Darth Vader announcing to a random guy on the street that he's his father. These seminal moments between two well-known characters kind of require the presence of both characters.

4) Better strategy layer
All of this potentially cool stuff in the game is less cool when it's so pointless. I can do favors for people to unlock assassination missions, which are simply obligatory steps to unlock the final shootout at an enemy family's compound which gets me...nothing. Closer to the end, I guess. And I can do favors for scattered quest vendors to unlock bonuses I'll almost never need because the gameplay is so simple, so why bother calling in a sting operation against an enemy family when it's never a threat anyway. And I can promote my henchmen to learn skills, most of which aren't necessary, because a lockpick's as good as a kicked door which is as good as a blown wall so it doesn't matter. And I can unlock ridiculous looking bulletproof vests and armored cars I never need and reduced guard costs that don't matter, since money is mainly used to buy skills that aren't important because I'm never going to need my henchmen to know how to do the snap neck move, to do extra hand-to-hand damage, or to recover from an arrest faster. The strategic layer is a set of features that aren't necessary. And what's more, you really think I'm going to bother playing online just so I can equip my henchmen with upgraded weapons that have no discernible effect on the game?

3) Make it make sense
This shows every sign of a game cobbled together from features with no consideration for how well they relate to each other. Why do my henchman instantly teleport wherever I send them, so it rarely matters which henchman are with me at any given time, since I can essentially beam them in whenever I need them? And yet I have to drive myself to the airport. Why are all these cars jammed up at this intersection? Why the vicious trash talk that would fit just fine in the recent 50 Cent game but here feels forced and inappropriate? Why are there housewives throwing dice on the sidewalk? Why does everyone nurse some bitter grudge against someone else that can only be addressed with a beating at best, but more often a straight-up murder? Why are there palm trees in New York? Why are the same topless women from the brothel running around at the city incinerator?

2) Lose the stealth missions
The first Godfather game had a stealth mission in which you sneaked into the Hollywood producer's house and put the horse's head under his covers. You might expect that in The Godfather II, you have to sneak out onto Lake Tahoe to assassinate Fredo. Close. Instead, you have to sneak into Cuba to garrote a bunch of soldiers whose backs are conveniently turned and then you assassinate Fidel Castro. I did not make that up. Spoiler: you will fail many times, including the time you supposedly succeed.

1) Better cities
This is what absolutely killed The Godfather II for me. If you give me an impressive location, I'm okay with middling gameplay. I say this as someone who spent upwards of 80 hours in Grand Theft Auto IV's Liberty City, an absolutely amazing place that serves as the setting for a middling game. But Godfather II takes place in a New York, Miami, and Havana that are are soulless, chintzy, ugly, primitive, and sloppy. Not to mention that they look nothing like their real world counterparts, in the 50s or at any other time. The streets are filled with twos of vehicles at a time, some of which appear before your very eyes, but almost never when you're running down the road looking for a ride. The locations offer no joy when it comes to exploration or gunfights or any sort of uesful functionality. The drawing distance is woefully close and there's a truly astonishing lack of detail, as if they game was built to scale down to the Playstation 2. Instead of activity, there's just brittle scripting and occasional chaos. And all these places feel small and petty. This is the antithesis of a living world. If any one of these cities was even remotely interesting or carefully crafted, The Godfather II might have held up under some of its other problems. But what kind of open-world game you can have when the "world" part of the equation is so poorly done?

]]> Godfather II "Premium Upgrade Packs" explained tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14790 2009-04-06T15:50:59Z 2009-04-07T23:12:21Z April 6, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Now that I'm playing The Godfather II, I'd like to clarify what exactly Electronic Arts is doing with the downloadable content (i.e. "Premium Upgrade Packs") that will be available in two weeks. It seemed from the press release that this... Now that I'm playing The Godfather II, I'd like to clarify what exactly Electronic Arts is doing with the downloadable content (i.e. "Premium Upgrade Packs") that will be available in two weeks. It seemed from the press release that this was a way to unlock rewards you could have gotten just by playing the game, similar to Need for Speed: Undercover, where you can use micropayments instead of ingame money to upgrade your cars. However, in the case of The Godfather II, it seems that none of the things they're selling is available in the game.

The henchman for sale is unique for starting out with four skills (it seems that none of the henchmen already in the game start out with more than two skills). If you buy "Jimmy Lira", as he's called, you could promote him to underboss to get a henchman with six skills. Right now, you'll never have a henchman with more than four skills. But since these henchman are the characters you play when you're online, this still stinks as a way for players to buy an online advantage.

The level 4 weapons for sale aren't in the game unless you buy them. As it is, you start out with access to all types of weapons at level 1. A pistol, shotgun, machine gun, magnum, and sniper rifle. As you play, you can find level 2 and level 3 versions of each weapon. You can then spend money giving your henchmen these upgraded weapons. However, there are no level 4 weapons in the game until you buy them from EA.

]]> How the economy impacts professional gaming leagues tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14789 2009-04-06T14:02:32Z 2009-04-07T23:12:43Z April 6, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick An article in the New York Times sports section (under the "more sports" header) suggests many professional videogaming organizations are falling on hard times. The headline, "Virtual Leagues Fold, Forcing Gamers to Find Actual Jobs", is a mild jab, but... An article in the New York Times sports section (under the "more sports" header) suggests many professional videogaming organizations are falling on hard times.

The headline, "Virtual Leagues Fold, Forcing Gamers to Find Actual Jobs", is a mild jab, but I can't help but wonder if such a headline would be written about guys who play baseball, golf, or fish for a living. Which raises the question: Are there actually guys who fish for a living? Given that the article discusses some poor guy who has to work at Sam's Club after attempting a career playing a middling fighting game, nothing would surprise me.

Until recently, Emmanuel Rodriguez worked on a stage, under bright lights, amid intense competition and before cheering fans. He was a professional video-game player, and a world champion.

Now he works at the customer service desk of a Sam's Club in Dallas.

Mr. Rodriquez (pictured at his actual job) was a former Dead or Alive 4 pro. It's worth noting that Dead or Alive 4 in particular, and fighting games in general, aren't the draw they once were. Let me know when there are unemployed Halo and Gears of War scrounging for work in the retail and service industries.

The point of the article seems to be that Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation has shut down its gaming league and that unspecified other leagues are also shut down. According to the New York Times, only the Major League Gaming is going strong.

In 2008, three players in Major League Gaming earned more than $75,000, and three others had six-figure salaries, largely from endorsements. [18-year-old twin Halo 3 players who have opted to delay going to college to pursue professional gaming careers] Justin and Jason Brown are well on their way; Old Spice recently decided to sponsor their team.
Here's hoping those poor Brown boys don't ever have to get actual jobs.

(Thanks to Mike for pointing out the article!)

]]> Radeon videocards won't protect you from the elements when you play STALKER tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14787 2009-04-06T12:34:19Z 2009-04-07T23:13:15Z April 6, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Can you see what's wrong with the above screenshot from STALKER, (a.k.a. the other open-world post-apocalyptic game)? Because that is not how the game is supposed to look. The website Legit Reviews, whose names sounds like a not-so-subtle insinuation that... Can you see what's wrong with the above screenshot from STALKER, (a.k.a. the other open-world post-apocalyptic game)? Because that is not how the game is supposed to look.

The website Legit Reviews, whose names sounds like a not-so-subtle insinuation that all the other websites are wrong, paid-off, or born of unmarried parents, has written a legitimate review of what happens when you play STALKER with a Radeon HD 4000 videocard, such as the one responsible for the above screenshot: you will get rained on. In the above picture, there's supposed to be a canopy hanging over that wooden framework in the middle distance. At least, that's how it shows up on other videocards.

The particulars here might sound like whinging, but the point remains. PC gaming is as vulnerable as ever to the vagaries of various hardware and driver configurations. However, if the biggest problem you can find with a set of drivers is whether or not a canopy shows up, I figure the developers are doing pretty well.

]]> April 6, 2009: wallet threat level green tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14786 2009-04-06T12:00:22Z 2009-04-07T23:05:22Z April 6, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick I'm pretty cranky, and not just because it's Monday. I'm cranky because I spent a good deal of my weekend playing a couple of games that I had hoped might pose a significant wallet threat. I wanted to be able... I'm pretty cranky, and not just because it's Monday. I'm cranky because I spent a good deal of my weekend playing a couple of games that I had hoped might pose a significant wallet threat. I wanted to be able to come here this morning and warn you that your wallet faced clear and present danger from The Godfather II and Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena (pictured). I had hoped for at least a wallet threat level yellow, or maybe even a full-blown red alert from either a nifty open-world mafia strategy/action game or a gritty stealth sci-fi game starring Vin Diesel.

Instead, I spent my weekend playing two pretty bad games.

Also out this week is a silly action game for the Xbox 360 called Ninja Blade. The World War II RTS Company of Heroes is getting an expansion pack which consists of a new campaign and a few new multiplayer modes. Three new maps for Halo 3 will be available for download.

Finally, there's a turn-based strategy game from Russia called Elven Legacy, which is a sequel to Fantasy Wars. It's very much in the same vein as Advance Wars or Panzer General. And although it's a bit rough, it's got a certain amount of charm and a lot of tactical depth. Plus, check out the first dudes your elves go up against:

Elven_Legacy_zombies.jpg

]]> No one wants to play Nintendo or Sega with Harrison Ford tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14777 2009-04-06T10:20:44Z 2009-04-07T23:13:51Z April 6, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick The above oil painting is titled "No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford". Painter Brandon Bird has a wonderful sense of the absurdity of celebrity, as you can see by perusing his artwork. However, he clearly doesn't know... The above oil painting is titled "No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford". Painter Brandon Bird has a wonderful sense of the absurdity of celebrity, as you can see by perusing his artwork. However, he clearly doesn't know his videogame systems. As he notes on his site:
I made this for the 2006 I am 8-Bit show. We didn't have Nintendo, so I had to go with what I knew.
Perhaps if Mr. Ford were to actually show up with a Sega, he might be more popular. As near as I can tell, he's toting some sort of unholy Colecovision/NES hybrid that no one ever made games for.

Still, what a great bit of work. It's the theme of emotional isolation you get in Edward Hopper's paintings, but for a generation raised on Atari 2600s and Raiders of the Lost Ark! Also awesome is Bird's vision of the sorts of arcade machines Konami should have been making back in the day.

(Thanks Boing Boing!)

UPDATE: As per the comments, I'm apparently too cool to know what a Sega Master System is. No wonder the Genesis was such an awesome system. Sega had been practicing!

]]> 8 games killed by the Nintendo Wii tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14728 2009-04-03T14:48:14Z 2009-04-07T23:14:22Z April 3, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick There are plenty of bad games on the Wii. And there are plenty of games good on other systems that are bad on the Wii. But how many games are there that are only on the Wii that are bad... There are plenty of bad games on the Wii. And there are plenty of games good on other systems that are bad on the Wii. But how many games are there that are only on the Wii that are bad precisely because they're on the Wii? In other words, how many Wii exclusives shouldn't have been on the Wii?

By my count, precisely eight. These are games that would have been much better if they were on some other system. Wii-mote shenanigans do great by some games (anything with "Wario" or "Rabbid" in the title), and some games work much better with a pointing device like the Wii-mote (Zak & Wiki, the Pikmin re-release, and light gun games like House of the Dead: Overkill) . Other great games pretty much ignore Wii gimmickry (Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. Brawl). But then there are the eight games that are pretty much dead to me because the Wii killed them.

Read about them after the jump.

]]> 8) Onslaught

Wii_Onslaught.jpg

Onslaught is a downloadable shooter available on the Wii Channel. In the early stages, it's easy enough to move using the nunchuk control and to aim using the Wiimote's pointer. But in the more challenging levels, you have to turn around a lot more often, which requires moving your perspective by pushing the pointer all the way to the end of the screen, and then refocusing it on your target. This has been a classic problem with doing shooters on the Nintendo Wii, as opposed to other console systems where the analog stick moves your perspective around a bound aiming point. Speaking of which, why can't I play Onslaught using the classic controller that I can hook up to a Wiimote? Onslaught could have been a wonderfully challenging little shooter about staving off hordes of nasty bugs if you didn't instead have to fight the Wiimote.


7) de Blob

Wii_de_Blob.jpg

de Blob insists that you jerk the Wii to make your blob jump. Now this wouldn't be such a big deal if jumping were some cute little optional activity, like a Napoleon Dynamite dance emote in an MMO. But it's a crucial part of the gameplay, and the timing is important. There is no reason that jumping couldn't be bound to a button. At least give me an option. Although I loved de Blob, I have no interest in going back to replay and explore some of the awesome levels, because the jumping is always subject the whims of how well I waggled my Wiimote.


6) Wii Fit

Wii_Wii_Fit.jpg

The Wii is a great system for a family friendly workout game. Instead, it gets a poorly thought-out gimmick designed around the balance board. Instead of presenting a unified program of cardiovascular exercise, strength training, and yoga, it's a collection of reasons to stand on the overpriced balance board. This isn't a game, or even an exercise program, so much as a support system for an expensive gadget. It's a classic example of Nintendo's fixation on wacky control schemes. Unfortunately, it has paid off in spades, as Wii Fit is a huge commercial success.


5) Animal Crossing: City Folk

Wii_Animal_Crossing.jpg

This was little more than a barely updated version of Animal Crossing for the Gamecube, a laid back and serene collection game in a town full of cute animals. It had a couple of Wii-mote controls thrown into the mix. But the Gamecube version of Animal Crossing was already perfectly playable considering the Wii's complete backwards compatibility, so City Folk is largely redundant. The developers never would have been able to get away with such a direct re-make if it weren't for the Wii.


4) Elebits

Wii_Elebits.jpg

In theory, this was an excellent idea. Hidden around the level are cute little creatures. You have to find them by turning over boxes, rummaging through closets, looking inside vases, and so forth. And you had to be careful not to be too destructive in your search, otherwise you'd fail the level. The game progressed from the confines of a single room all the way out into a suburban neighborhood. The Wii was supposedly the perfect device for interacting with the environment in various ways to search for elusive elebits. But the game was mostly about trying to mindread whoever came up with the controls. You knew you wanted to slide open that drawer. Elebits was all about figuring out how the developers wanted you to do it with the Wii.


3) MadWorld

Wii_MadWorld.jpg

In this gloriously gory splatterfest, you're literally tearing through waves of enemies to get to the other end of this stylish black-and-white dystopia. But attacks are tied to either waving the Wii horizontally or vertically. Early on, this is no big deal, as the combat is really just a formality. But once you get somewhere around the fifth chapter, where you're fighting ninjas with the ability to block your attacks, suddenly the timing gets a lot more demanding. Now I don't mind silly Wii waggling for fatalities, and MadWorld has plenty of this. But for the core combat mechanics, it effectively kills the game. Attacks in a fighting game are a matter of timing, not wrist flicking precision. This just will not do.


2) Star Wars: Clone Wars

Wii_Clone_Wars.jpg

If there's one thing worse than Wii waggling in a game with fighting, it's Wii waggling in a fighting game. Star Wars: Clone Wars, a fighting game, could have been good for some easy-to-play lightsaber melee, sort of a Star Wars flavored gateway fighter to the lastest Soulcalibur or Street Fighter. Instead, you get two people standing in the middle of the living room and spazzing out while random stuff happens onscreen between a pair of cartoon jedi. Get your Wii waggling out of my fighting games!


1) No More Heroes

Wii_No_More_Heroes.jpg

The same complaints about the other two fighting games apply to this weird little subversive game from the creator of Killer 7. But to make matters worse, here you used a lightsaber with a very finicky battery. Every now and then, the lightsaber battery would run out of juice. To recharge it, you had to shake the Wiimote in much same way Alec Baldwin shakes the Wiimote in this video. As was the case with so many other supposedly funny things in this strange game, the joke's on you.

]]> Battlestar Galactica composer to score Dark Void tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14732 2009-04-03T12:03:47Z 2009-04-07T23:18:15Z April 3, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Even if you don't know his name, you know Bear McCreary. Hum something from Battlestar Galactica. Go ahead, anything. The first thing to pop into your head. Was it the stuff Kara Thrace played on the piano, or that funky... Even if you don't know his name, you know Bear McCreary. Hum something from Battlestar Galactica. Go ahead, anything. The first thing to pop into your head. Was it the stuff Kara Thrace played on the piano, or that funky version of "All Along the Watchtower" with sitars or whatever, or the main chanty theme during the credits, or even the action scene drumming and whooping? That last bit is a tough one to hum and an even tougher one to get out of your head. Whichever one you hummed, it was composed by Bear McCreary.

McCreary has just been signed to do the music for Capcom's Dark Void, an action game whose main gimmick is the interaction between extreme vertical level design and a jetpack. Plus a pretty cool retro 40s look. Think The Rocketeer. Now think The Rocketeer combined with a Bear McCreary soundtrack.

Here's the little quote attribued to McCreary in Capcom's press release:

When I got the call from Capcom to work on the music for Dark Void, I jumped at the chance to do it, considering my love for Capcom games. I have been looking for the opportunity to compose a game score for a long time, but I've been waiting for the right one. Dark Void's epic story and unique gameplay drew me in immediately and I have had a lot of fun working on the project.
By the way, if you go to his website and take a look at his picture, you'll see that Mr. McCreary is what you'd get if Ronald D. Moore was crossed with an elf.

]]> Did Pikachu save the Pokemon franchise? tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14709 2009-04-03T11:50:22Z 2009-04-07T23:19:30Z April 3, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Justin Haywald at 1up has written a great overview of the Pokemon games. Even (especially?) if you don't play them, it's a good read for giving you a sense for why and how much these little guys are a force... Justin Haywald at 1up has written a great overview of the Pokemon games. Even (especially?) if you don't play them, it's a good read for giving you a sense for why and how much these little guys are a force to be reckoned with. 186 million units sold over the series' lifetime? Wow.

However, in his discussion of game mechanics, I think Haywald doesn't give enough credit to the marketing synergy behind the Pokemon industry. These games would never be so successful if they weren't sold to children as more than just games. I'm also curious how he figures the games are "almost as popular with adults [as they are with children]". I'm going to call bull. I've played Pokemon games and I can see their appeal to hardcore RPGers as a subset of adults. But these are clearly not games that will work for the average adult videogamer.

I especially liked Haywald's take on the rise of Pikachu.

But there's another game-within-the game at work in Pokémon, made to resonate with the casual audience: the player's relationship with their pokémon. And no game made that connection quite as apparent as Pokémon Yellow. After the raging success of the Pokémon TV show and the incredible love viewers showed to a certain electric mouse, the developers changed the starting pokémon to Pikachu and let the player talk to him throughout the adventure. If he was kept alive and well trained, he expressed his happiness whenever the player interacted with him, while bad trainers who repeatedly let the mouse faint or kept him confined to his Pokéball would only receive messages of unhappiness from their companion.
Wait, wait. Pikachu is a dude?

]]> EA makes an offer you can refuse: buy your way through Godfather II tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14694 2009-04-03T06:05:59Z 2009-04-07T23:20:32Z April 3, 2009 April 7, 2009 Tom Chick Lots of funny April Fools' Day stuff has been flying around, but one of my favorites would have to be Electronic Arts saying they were going to sell weapons for their upcoming Godfather II game that you could also just... Lots of funny April Fools' Day stuff has been flying around, but one of my favorites would have to be Electronic Arts saying they were going to sell weapons for their upcoming Godfather II game that you could also just unlock by playing. Pay or play! Oh, for fun! What a bunch of jokers at EA!

Wait, this was real...?

Two weeks after the game's April 7 release, there will be multiplayer maps, upgraded weapons, and a uniquely powerful henchman available for download. Note that these things are being sold, not simply available as a free download to serve as a disincentive for buying used copies. The two multiplayer maps will cost $7, the five upgraded weapons will cost $4, and the special henchman will cost $4. Or you can buy the whole shebang for $10.

Electronic Arts has been doing this sort of thing for a while, letting players pay for unlockables that they'd otherwise be able to earn by playing the game. You can find this in the Tiger Woods, Need for Speed, and Skate games. It's cheap, yeah, but if people are going to fork over money for this sort of thing, EA is only partly to blame. The fact that they're still doing it implies there are a lots of folks out there with more money than sense.

It's particularly funny to read EA's emailed comments to 1up in which they try to explain themselves.

The guns and stats you can upgrade are mostly for advanced players so by the time you can use some of these uber powerful guns and stats you'll have already have played A LOT of Godfather...We also have an option in our multiplayer matches that limits the crew and skill levels of players so that those that are advanced can have their own separate battles.
Which clarifies exactly nothing.

]]> Activision's Zork series adapted to free-to-play web-based Legends of Zork tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14705 2009-04-02T14:34:23Z 2009-04-02T12:19:11Z April 2, 2009 April 2, 2009 Tom Chick These kinds of free-to-play brower games are a dime a dozen, without even having to pay the dime. But how many of them are based on Activision's fondly remember Zork adventure games? From the FAQ for Legends of Zork:You're a... Legend_of_Zork.jpgThese kinds of free-to-play brower games are a dime a dozen, without even having to pay the dime. But how many of them are based on Activision's fondly remember Zork adventure games? From the FAQ for Legends of Zork:
You're a former member of the FrobozzCo International sales force. You've been fired. Times are hard. But there's plenty of opportunities out there for an aspiring adventurer. So you've pitched your tent in the midst of a camp of fellow treasure hunters. You seem to have all drifted to the same place: a white house with a boarded front door.
The gameplay is pretty typical for these sort of broswer games. You get 30 action points a day, each used for a battle or a trip back to base to heal up, sell loot, and buy gear. Everything is based on a percentage chance, modified by skills, spells, and equipment, which keeps it all pretty straightforward. There's a little basic rock/paper/scissors in terms of matching your attack stance to your opponent's defense stance, but it's mostly hands-off as you work your way out into a world map with encounters and events along the way. You can even set aside some of your action points for group adventures that happen automatically when you're away.

The overall goal of Legends of Zork is, of course, to get you to pony up some micropayments for a higher allotment of daily action points, for special ingame bonuses, and even to remove the ads in the browser window. But even if you choose not to fall for it purchase anything, it's a decent enough web browser game with cute artwork on every screen and a sense for the dopey humor that went into Activision's Zork games. For instance, upon buying new gear, you're greeted with the following:

Lord Nimbus walks into a bar. "Ouch", he goes, "Wrong place. I meant to go to the Armoury".

Use your Zorkmids to buy and sell Weapons and Armor here. And if you can find a better joke, please post it on the wall.

Were the jokes in the Zork games that bad?

]]> Get the undead off your lawn in Plants vs. Zombies tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14693 2009-04-02T13:26:32Z 2009-04-02T12:50:06Z April 2, 2009 April 2, 2009 Tom Chick To get the jump on Plants vs. Zombies, Popcap's next game, you can go here to sign up for a 10% discount and an early download before the May 5th release. But perhaps more importantly, you can dig on their... To get the jump on Plants vs. Zombies, Popcap's next game, you can go here to sign up for a 10% discount and an early download before the May 5th release. But perhaps more importantly, you can dig on their weird little music video (pictured) and even download an MP3 of Laura Shigihara's song, with your choice of English or Japanese lyrics.

Miss Shigihara explains on her blog how the song came about:

...about two months ago, after finishing all the in-game music and SFX, I decided that I wanted to make a funny theme song... I thought it would be awesome if the song was basically a dialogue between the Sunflower and the Zombies...A couple weeks ago, the marketing team suggested we make a Japanese version as well, and being that I'm half Japanese, I decided I should represent. So I translated the lyrics, and got help from my Dad to refine them... originally I was going to leave the Zombie lyrics (sung by George) in English. But as I was going through the Japanese lyrics, I started mumbling them in angry-zealous Japanese and thought, "this is really funny... I bet my Dad could do this." So he came over and we recorded that while my mom played Twilight Princess downstairs...
In terms of how Plants vs. Zombies will play, Popcap is still mostly mum. This is apparently a tower defense game with elements of card collecting. But most importantly, it's from the folks who made Bejeweled and Peggle. If they're not capable of building a delightful tongue-in-cheek time-waster about a singing sunflower fending off a zombie siege, no one is.

]]> Katamaris unleashed into motel art tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14706 2009-04-02T12:16:33Z 2009-04-02T05:22:44Z April 2, 2009 April 2, 2009 Tom Chick You know those tacky landscape paintings that congregate against some far wall in a Salvation Army store? Someone finally figured out how to give them new value. You can hire a fellow who goes by the name loudxmouse to paint... Katamari_unleashed.jpgYou know those tacky landscape paintings that congregate against some far wall in a Salvation Army store? Someone finally figured out how to give them new value. You can hire a fellow who goes by the name loudxmouse to paint into the pictures a rampaging Katamari from the Katamari Damacy games.

(Thanks Oddworld!)

]]> Just Cause isn't just the name of this sequel. It's also the answer. tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14664 2009-04-02T11:55:39Z 2009-04-02T09:20:24Z April 2, 2009 April 2, 2009 Tom Chick A set of new screenshots sheds some light on the upcoming sequel to Banana Republic sandbox Just Cause, which is now set in Southeast Asia. The first game was an admirable attempt at wide-open combat action along the lines of... Just_Cause_02.jpgA set of new screenshots sheds some light on the upcoming sequel to Banana Republic sandbox Just Cause, which is now set in Southeast Asia. The first game was an admirable attempt at wide-open combat action along the lines of Mercenaries, but the operative word was "attempt". This time, with a little more experience under their belts, hopefully the developers can get closer to pulling it off. Just Cause 2 continues the first game's "go anywhere" edict with a parachute and grappling hook. Expect lots of weaponry and lots of freedom.

However, the screenshots raise some important questions. For instance, why would you drive a parachute to chase a military convoy? And why is the hero wearing such bitchin' cowboy boots?

Just_Cause_01.jpg

Furthermore, why would you fight while standing on the roof of a moving vehicle? And why is there snow in Southeast Asia?

Just_Cause_03.jpg

Furthermore, why is everything so susceptible to being exploded?

Just_Cause_05.jpg

For the answers to these and other questions, I refer you to the title of the game. Eidos says Just Cause 2 will be out this fall.

]]> What do Star Trek and Rock Band have in common? tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14695 2009-04-02T10:05:59Z 2009-04-02T10:02:24Z April 2, 2009 April 2, 2009 Tom Chick When you think "Star Trek", do you also think "Rock Band"? Me either, but that doesn't matter one whit to the folks at Electronic Arts and Paramount, who are reaching out to us videogame and sci-fi dorks wherever they can... Spock_Guitar.jpgWhen you think "Star Trek", do you also think "Rock Band"?

Me either, but that doesn't matter one whit to the folks at Electronic Arts and Paramount, who are reaching out to us videogame and sci-fi dorks wherever they can find us! So later this month, as the release of the new Star Trek movie draws nearer, look for a special challenge when you boot up Rock Band 2.

Beginning on April 20, Rock Band 2 owners can compete in the Star Trek Ultimate Battle contest through the game's online Battle of the Bands mode. The contest, which runs through April 27, pits bands of three to four against one another in a competition for the highest score. The winning band will be awarded with a private screening of Star Trek in their hometown. MTV Games will also give away prize packs with Star Trek and Rock Band merchandise to 20 randomly selected participants.
Click here for more details.

]]> Saints Row 2 gets a porn star and not much else tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14658 2009-04-01T14:44:37Z 2009-04-01T07:33:44Z April 1, 2009 April 1, 2009 Tom Chick THQ announced the details of the downloadable content for Saints Row 2, which is the best Grand Theft Auto game of them all. Now you'd think a blinkered Saints Row 2 fanboy like myself would be an easy sell. Nope.... THQ announced the details of the downloadable content for Saints Row 2, which is the best Grand Theft Auto game of them all. Now you'd think a blinkered Saints Row 2 fanboy like myself would be an easy sell. Nope. Not with these bullet points.

Three new missions? Six vehicles? A Tara Patrick sidekick? And multiplayer maps? Because I already have all the multiplayer maps I need given that co-op support lets me freely roam the breadth and width of Stillwater. I wasn't aware there was any other kind of multiplayer in Saints Row 2.

Still, I'm enough of a sucker/fan that I'll be forking over my ten bucks. I just wish it didn't seem so bare bones. You can read more in this IGN interview, which opens with this question from interviewer Erik Brudvig:

So, Tara Patrick?
And then follows up with this question:
How did you capture her "essence" in digital form?
To producer James Torbit's credit, he actually attempts an answer.

The downloadable content, called "Ultor Exposed", will be available on April 16th for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. No word on plans for the PC version.

]]> Videogaming helps your eyes, but hurts your hands, so you break even tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14659 2009-04-01T13:48:23Z 2009-04-01T01:26:35Z April 1, 2009 April 1, 2009 Tom Chick The good news is that videogaming helps your eyes, but the bad news is that it hurts your hands. "Author/researcer" Mike Tomich, whose web site looks like it was designed by a crazy old man, managed to land a segment... Controller_Art.jpgThe good news is that videogaming helps your eyes, but the bad news is that it hurts your hands. "Author/researcer" Mike Tomich, whose web site looks like it was designed by a crazy old man, managed to land a segment on a local NBC affiliate in Illinois back in 2007. Yet Eurogamer thinks it's newsworthy when a site called http://gonintendo.com/?p=77268digs up the YouTube video. Slow news day, fellas?

So let's see what's going on here. The segment is your typical alarmist puff piece. "Some researchers say videogames are hazardous to children's health," says the anchor leading in to the story, which eventually segues to Mr. Tomich and some poor 15-year-old girl insecure about her hands. But the NBC affiliate did its research by also talking on the phone to a rheumatologist, who happens to also appear on Mr. Tomich's crazy web site. The site was apparently built around pushing a bill sponsored by Senator Joseph Lieberman to allocate money to study the effects of videogaming on children. The bill seems to have died on the vine. Big surprise there.

Note that Mr. Tomich also blamed coloring books:

Don't let children color, play video games, use computers until their bones are calcified hard enough to withstand the repetitive forces without developing deformities.
But the good and more current news is that kids with twisted claws for hands will have excellent vision! According to a study published in Nature Neuroscience (in 2008, no less!), 22 students at the University of Rochester showed improved eyesight after 50 hours of playing hardcore action games. They were better able to discern shades of gray, something that was previously regarded as a fixed ability with no capacity for improvement. But that was before Call of Duty 4 came along. The Washington Post quotes researcher Daphne Bavelier:
Video games train the brain to process the existing visual information more efficiently, and the improvements last for months after the game play stopped. These games push the human visual system to the limits, and the brain adapts to it.
The Lasik surgery industry declined to comment.

]]> Electronic Arts backpedals from restrictive copy protection measures tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14656 2009-04-01T12:27:06Z 2009-03-31T23:54:57Z April 1, 2009 March 31, 2009 Tom Chick First Electronic Arts makes a to-do about shipping The Sims 3 without the SecuROM copy protection they'd been using in games like Spore and Dead Space (SecuROM installs drivers onto your system and limits the numbers of times you can... EA_DRM_backpedal.jpgFirst Electronic Arts makes a to-do about shipping The Sims 3 without the SecuROM copy protection they'd been using in games like Spore and Dead Space (SecuROM installs drivers onto your system and limits the numbers of times you can install a game). Now they provide a tool to pry SecuROM off your PC. You can download it here, where you can also see a list of which games will be affected.

Slashdot suggests this is a direct reaction to recent comments by Federal Trade Commission director Mary Engle at the Commission's Seattle conference on digital rights management issues. Engle slapped Sony on the wrist for last year's root kit copy protection debacle. She furthermore threatened FTC action if publishers rely too much on the fine print in a EULA that no one reads as a way of supposedly warning consumers about copy protection.

Whatever the reason, Electronic Arts finding some anti-DRM religion is good news not just for the people who play these games, but for PC gaming as an industry. Piracy is indeed a problem, but restrictive copy protection is a solution that arguably does more damage than good. PC gamers already brave the hassles of hardware configurations, drivers, and patches. Throwing copy protection concerns into the mix is rubbing salt in the wound.

Games like Spore and The Sims 3 have an easier time dissuading piracy because they're tied into online communities. Even next week's Godfather II has online multiplayer support that probably won't work in pirated version. But it'll be interesting to see how EA handles the next single-player offline game like Dead Space or Mirror's Edge. These are the games that really suffer when it comes to piracy.

]]> Happy April Fools' Day! tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14667 2009-04-01T09:52:48Z 2009-04-01T06:43:14Z April 1, 2009 April 1, 2009 Tom Chick Today is April 1st. Many sites will try to trick you today. But here at Fidgit, we're above those sorts of shenanigans. So I'm just going to flat-out tell you this is the only April Fools' Day post you'll see... April_Fools.jpgToday is April 1st. Many sites will try to trick you today. But here at Fidgit, we're above those sorts of shenanigans. So I'm just going to flat-out tell you this is the only April Fools' Day post you'll see here today. All that other stuff that's posted is actual stuff. This will be the only attempt to fool you.

With that said, read the April Fools Day post after the jump.

]]> Smart action puzzler Burn, Zombie, Burn poses the eternal question: to burn or not to burn? tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14657 2009-04-01T06:34:12Z 2009-04-01T07:06:32Z April 1, 2009 April 1, 2009 Tom Chick Based on the title and screenshots like the one above, you might think Burn, Zombie, Burn is just another cartoony action game, similar to the (underrated) Monster Madness games. Maybe you think it's Left 4 Dead 4 Kidz. Or just... Burn_Zombie_Burn_01.jpgBased on the title and screenshots like the one above, you might think Burn, Zombie, Burn is just another cartoony action game, similar to the (underrated) Monster Madness games. Maybe you think it's Left 4 Dead 4 Kidz. Or just Smash TV or Robotron with cute zombies.

Well, you're wrong. This is a clever, funny, and fiendishly addictive action/strategy/puzzle game that's every bit as compelling as Geometry Wars. In fact, more so for those of us with a predilection for zombie killing, which gives Burn, Zombie, Burn its own unique smart twist. And I hate to say this to those of you who don't have a Playstation 3, but it's right up there with Flower, Resistance 2 multiplayer, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, and the Blu-Ray drive as one of the best reasons to have a Playstation 3.

Strong words, I know. So read the review of Burn, Zombie, Burn after the jump.

]]> First, let me tell you two quick things about doublesix, the folks who made Burn, Zombie, Burn.

1) Doublesix is one of the development teams that comprises the company known as Kuju Entertainment. Want to know another one of the teams that comprises the company known as Kuju Entertainment? Headstrong Games. And in case that doesn't cause pink hearts of recognition to float over your head like it does mine, Headstrong are the folks who created House of the Dead: Overkill.

2) More relevant to the actual game is the fact that doublesix are the folks responsible for porting Geometry Wars to the Nintendo Wii and DS. Their Geometry Wars: Galaxies had a cool little RPG system in which you leveled up different drones with unique powers while traveling around the galaxy and unlocking solar systems. When it comes to crazy action shooters with a twist, these guys know what they're doing.

Now that the pedigree is out of the way, how about the actual game?

At first glance, it seems to play a bit like Geometry Wars, with zombies instead of triangles and without the fancy multiplier concept and with only a crappy pistol. Whatever. Next ten dollar game! One of the problems with this game is that you really need to read the manual. But since it doesn't have one, you'll have to spend about fifteen minutes playing through the tutorials. Because Burn, Zombie, Burn isn't just a cool name. It's a clue about how the game plays. Anyone can make a good game with a bunch of zombies and a bunch of weapons. In fact, with that comment there - "a bunch of zombies and a bunch of weapon" - I just designed a masterpiece. Be sure to send me a cut of the profits if you actually make such a game from my idea.

But what about an action game with a little bit of funky strategy based on the scientific fact that zombies are extremely flammable? Because that's what you get here.

Burn_Zombie_Burn_02.jpg

In your average zombie game, you just shoot zombies until you die, or run out of ammo and then die. But this game has a tricky little scoring gimmick. For every zombie set afire, your multiplier for killing a zombie increases. But since burning zombies run faster (duh!), they're more likely to catch up with you. So the constant tension in Burn, Zombie, Burn is how many dangerous flaming zombies do you keep around to rack up your score? Ten? Not enough. Twenty? Nope. Higher. Thirty? Warmer. (Ha ha). Forty? Not quite, but now we're talking. Fifty? Keep going, if you dare! To really boost your score, to qualify for the silver and gold medals, you're going to want upwards of 80 flaming zombies chasing you at any given time.

Did you get that? 80 flaming zombies chasing you.

Now, yeah, that's pretty cool in and of itself. But doublesix knows gameplay. They know better than to just make a game in which you flee burning zombies. One of the challenges in Burn, Zombie, Burn is that burning zombies drop different loot than non-burning zombies. The normal slow shambling unlit zombies drop health and ammo for your special guns. You'll need those, sure. But burning zombies drop dynamite and - more importantly - dynamite upgrades that make explosions more powerful and more precise. What better way to rack up your score than with a massive explosion that takes out 80 zombies at once while you've got an 80x multiplier going?

Burn_Zombie_Burn_03.jpg

So now you're playing a little tactical puzzle. How many zombies can you light up to raise your multiplier? When do you harvest them? If you wait too long, they'll overrun you. If you can't take the heat, thin the burning herd a little, which will drop your multiplier. As the waves get harder, folding in more zombies and introducing more challenging types of zombies, you're constantly faced with the tough decision: To burn or not to burn?

One of the cool dynamics is that zombies are afraid of fire, so whipping out your torch effectively grants you immunity to the zombie hordes. Just run through them and leave behind a trail of burning zombies, who will then bump into non-burning zombies that proceed to catch fire. It's a delight to both firebugs and zombie killers. But once you put down the torch for a gun, the zombies start closing in.

Now keep in mind that when zombies drop an item, you're going to want to pick up that item. But since zombies travel in packs, the item you'll want to pick up will often be surrounded by zombies. How do you get to it? That's one of the challenges. The torch is perfect, unless the zombies are already burning, in which case they're not afraid of fire. Here's one example of doublesix's game design smarts. Among the weapons is a baseball bat. Its basic attack doesn't do a lot of damage, but you can use it to beat your way into a crowd of zombie. "Why on earth would I ever want to do that?" you'll wonder when you first start playing. Eventually, after losing the umpteenth ammo pack, dynamite upgrade, or health powerup in the middle of a zombie pack, a little light bulb will go off over your head. That's why you'd want to beat your way into a crowd of zombies.

Burn_Zombie_Burn_04.jpg

Specific weapons spawn at specific times and locations. Each level goes through a progression of waves, which determine the available weapons, the number of zombies, and the types of zombies. At any given time, you can click the analog stick to see a directional indicator to every weapon on the map, making it easy to find what you want. Getting there through the flaming zombies is another matter. These small-ish arena-sized maps are configured as very specific challenges, much like levels in Geometry Wars. The game's six maps might seem like they're just cute settings, but they're built to play certain ways. The first woods map is a no-brainer ring-around-the-rosy. Later maps are built to funnel zombie hordes into killing zones between the tombstones at the graveyard or the parked cars at the drive-in. The final map is a mostly wide-open nightmare.

Furthermore, each map has a button you can activate that will set off some powerful event. I was having the worst time getting even a bronze medal on the military base until I figured out the air strike event. Get three consecutive weapon combo awards and a big red button lights up (this is one of the many things in the game that reminds me of a pinball machine). Press the button and watch the bombs fall along a swathe down the center of the map. Using this trick, I'm now within spitting distance of a silver medal. There are three different ways to play each map, as well as a set of ten maddening puzzle challenges. I'm stymied on the third, but I have a couple of ideas. And, of course, there are leaderboards. I'm hoping to crack the top thousand at some point.

I could go on, but at this point, I think its better that you just cough up the ten bucks to try it for yourself. If you're looking for a mindless cartoony zombie killing game, we'll always have Monster Madness. But this is not that. Instead, if you're looking for something aglow with the light of clever game design and burning zombies, I have three words for you (well, two words, one of which is repeated): Burn, Zombie, Burn.

]]> WCG Ultimate Gamers hit the dance pads tag:fidgit.com,2009://19.14632 2009-03-31T16:43:32Z 2009-03-31T03:52:42Z March 31, 2009 March 31, 2009 Tom Chick If you see just one episode of WCG Ultimate Gamer, the Sci Fi Channel's videogaming reality TV show, tonight's is probably going to be the one to see. The game on the roster is Dance Dance Revolution Universe 3. There's... DDR_WCG_Ultimate_Gamer.jpgIf you see just one episode of WCG Ultimate Gamer, the Sci Fi Channel's videogaming reality TV show, tonight's is probably going to be the one to see. The game on the roster is Dance Dance Revolution Universe 3. There's nothing quite like watching someone try to play Dance Dance Revolution, and I can only imagine what sort of real world challenge is in store.

Can Dante dance? Chelsea may be hot, but how does she move? Does Geoff's board-breaking prowess translate into fancy footwork? Who's going to be sent home and how badly will he or she be humiliated during the final challenge? Find out tonight.

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