Infamous is the latest open-world action game. This one is about a guy with electricity-themed superpowers in a city quarantined by the government after a mysterious explosion apparently triggered by Dr. Manhattan. I imagine this means the world comes together into some sort of long-lasting detente. Unfortunately, the game takes place entirely inside the exploded city, where the society has fallen into so much chaos that no matter what you do, you will never accumulate any wanted stars. However, as you play Infamous, you must choose to follow the path of good (i.e. you give beggars money) or the path of evil (i.e. you keep the +1 sword instead of delivering it like the blacksmith asked you).

Following are ten stupid things about Infamous. Some of them are trivial, and some of them are significant, but they're all stupid. And before you post your angry comments, keep in mind that tomorrow I'll be offering equal time to cool things about Infamous.

Read the ten stupid things about Infamous after the jump.

10) The title is supposed to be written like so: inFamous or even inFAMOUS.

9) You play Cole McGrath, who is neither a crime dog nor the owner of a crime dog.

8) Just when you think Infamous isn't going to pull any of Sony's mandatory Sixaxis shenanigans, you get your final power. Because it wouldn't be a PS3 game without a Sixaxis controller gimmick!

7) Lara Croft's pony tail was always pretty fascinating, but the floppy bike messenger bag slung over Cole McWrath's back is just stupid. Why is he wearing it the whole time? Now that he's a superhero, he's certainly not delivering documents any more. He doesn't have an inventory, so it's not like he needs it to carry ammo or healing potions. Is it there just to show off the dangling floppy bit technology used to render the reflective strips? I'd almost rather Sony sold ingame advertising on the back of Cull McGrath's jacket.

6) The following is an actual approximation of the way "karma" decisions are presented in Infamous, each accompanied by a short monologue delivered in grave and thoughtful tones:

"Hmm, I've discovered a hungry puppy. It's whimpering pitifully and looking at me with its big puppy dog eyes. Do I kick it, which might turn the people of Empire City against me? Or do I pet it, which will ingratiate me to the citizenry but might make me look weak and girlish?"

5) Infamous is great about not letting you accidentally run off a ledge. Thanks for that, Sucker Punch! However, there is no easy way to go from standing on a ledge to dangling from it. Which wouldn't be a big deal if Infamous didn't constantly position collectibles in such a way that you have to jump off a ledge and then quickly turn around and grab it. This is worst when it's over water, which is instantly fatal to Coll.

4) Coal's powers unfold without any meaningful choice. He'll get a new power at exactly the scripted moment he's supposed to get it. So what are you supposed to do with your hard-earned xp? You get to buy incremental and mostly superficial upgrades. Do you boost your melee damage by 10% or your damage reduction by 10%? Do you improve your lightning bolt or your shock wave? Even the powers that supposedly distinguish good from evil are only marginally different. It's like a game of Jedi Knight in which your choice of Force powers is a red lightsaber or a green lightsaber.

3) The city is repetitive and mostly uninteresting, with only a couple of memorable landmarks that are memorable because the missions where you have to climb them are such a pain in the butt. After a whole game of letting you scale nearly any structure by spazzing out on the X button - there is little finesse in the way Koal climbs - you have to hunt and peck and aim your jumps and look for the grabbable bits. But at least the view from the top is - oh, that's it? A bunch of distant soupy silhouettes?

2) You know that terrible hackneyed moment in a comic book when the villain strings up the superhero's girlfriend on one side of town, and six doctors who might one day cure cancer on the other side of town? Then he sets a timer so that the superhero will only have time to save one of them? Then he spells out the moral dilemma in very careful terms so that even little kids reading the comic book will understand? You know how stupid those moments are? Well, Infamous doesn't.

1) For a historical accounting of how long it takes the social order to fall apart, we need look no father than the 1987 documentary Escape from New York. When Manhattan was closed off into a maximum security prison after the crime rate had risen 400%, it took years for the social order to break down and rebuild itself under the aegis of a themed gang led by Isaac Hayes. However, Infamous is on an accelerated timeline. After a cataclysmic event, society falls apart and rebuilds around themed gangs within a few days. A massive junk skyscraper is erected almost instantaneously, which just goes to show how much you can get done without unions. Various supervillains with fiendish plots spring up within a week. Plagues and mind control toxins and government conspiracies and sidekick betrayals and sidekick redemptions all happen in the first fortnight. And the whole thing is wrapped up in three weeks. New Orleans should be so lucky.

1a) With perhaps three exceptions, the missions are on par with what you'd expect in a throwaway GTA clone with a Spider-Man or Hulk license. The same is true with how you interact with and affect the city, which is peppered with meaningless side missions that do little more than satisfy completionists while leaving the rest of us unimpressed. Sometimes Coll uses his electric power to literally herd shuffling compliant bad guys from point A to point B. These sheepdog missions are the silliest thing you'll do in Infamous, short of sitting through the comic book cut scenes.

1b) Part of the appeal of an open-world game is navigating the world, but there should be shortcuts for long distances. Infamous doesn't do a good job of providing this, which isn't a big deal. For short distances, you can grind elevated rails or power lines. But then the last third of the game comes along and you've got to traipse back and forth across the city. Oh, and in case you're wondering why Cull can't ride in cars, there's a bit of throwaway exposition about this early on; if he sits in a car, it explodes.

1c) It's a shame a game with this much potential has such an insultingly bad story. The guys at Sucker Punch have left behind the kiddie vibe of their excellent Sly Cooper games, but they haven't left behind the cartoon superficiality. The plot of Infamous makes zero sense, even after the laughably bad resolution. There isn't a single likable character here. The villains just seem to appear from time to time. Sometimes you fight them in a bad boss battle. Sometimes the game seems to simply forget about them.. And the dialogue is uniformly horrible, from the growling hero to the funny [sic] sidekick to the conflicted romantic interest to the villain who suddenly appears at some point as if the game almost forgot it needed a villain. In fact, one character whose significance isn't clear unless you bother digging up B-side audio recordings scattered around the city is randomly blown up at the end of the game. Infamous may very well be one of the worst written big-budget games since Too Human.

So there you go. I seem to have gone over my allotment of ten stupid things. Sorry about that. However, before you cancel your pre-order, be sure to check out tomorrow's list of top ten (give or take) cool things about Infamous.