So the new Riddick game is out this week. Assault on Dark Athena starts out promising and then suddenly ends. At which point you get to slog through several hours of tedious padding to get to the actual ending (you can read my full review here). All this mid- to late-game filler will give you time to ponder the wit and wisdom of intergalactic space criminal Richard B. Riddick, portrayed by Vin Diesel wearing swimming goggles and growling various meditative things that I like to call "Riddicisms".

Read Dark Athena's top ten Riddicisms after the jump.

10) "Riddick, you doing okay?"
"Doesn't matter. I'm either doing or I'm not."
Riddick hates adverbs!

9) "Chew on this!"
This taunt from the bad guys is a holdover from the first Chronicles of Riddick game. Try as they might - I must have heard it fifty times - developer Starbreeze can't quite get their gum-inspired quip to stick.

8) "I play the hand I'm dealt, and then I cheat."
Speaking of cheating, this is from the original Escape from Butcher Bay game, but since that game is included with Assault on Dark Athena, I've dragged it out. This is a great Riddicism for how it makes no sense. If you've already played the hand you're dealt, it's too late to cheat. To illustrate the point, I've written a short screenplay. I see Vin Diesel in the role of Richard Riddick. I hope to play Johns myself.

RIDDICK lays his hand on the table.

7) "They're gonna need a DNA test to ID your remains!"
Invoking forensics is only slightly better than funeral proceedings. So at least this tops "You're not gonna be able to have an open-casket ceremony!"

6) "Your momma shoulda kept her legs crossed."
What starts out as a "your momma" joke doesn't deliver.

5) "Up until now, they've fed on civilians and the weak. And now the feast is biting back."
I hope the feast is saying, "Chew on this"?

4) "I've got zero options and the number's dropping fast."
I can't decide if this means Riddick is clueless or brilliant when it comes to math.

3) "We're the same, you and I. We're both steeped in the same dark void."
This comment from the main villain made me think of tea. Dark void tea.

2) "This city's a ghost town, built on fear and empty promises."
Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to our very special guest, Rorshach.

1) "Where's there's hatred, so justice. Where there's injury, pardon. Where's there's doubt, hope. May a swift and certain death befall anyone who stands in my way. Ain't much of a prayer, but it sounds good. That's why I know this won't be over until Revas breathes her last breath."
This monologue is delivered as Riddick rides an elevator to the final boss battle. I get bored on elevators, too, and I might say silly things to myself. But the real Riddicism here is the way he doesn't even need a transition to go from the duality of existence to vowing revenge. Because that's just how the mind of Richard B. Riddick works.