Normally this is where I'd write a great big harumph about being ripped off for downloadable content that should have been part of the game all along. Because that's one way to look at the new Versus mode for Resident Evil 5, available as a five dollar download. Versus mode contains no new "stuff". Everything it uses is already in the game: the characters, the maps, the networking code, the weapons, even the scoring system. It's simply arranged in such a way that there are two new modes. It's a bit like the difference between a tostada and a taco. But whereas games like Halo and Call of Duty give you lots of opportunities to change how the game plays online by flipping various settings, Resident Evil 5 charges you money for a couple of preset options.

But instead of harumphing -- which plenty of other people are doing just fine so I'll leave them to it -- I'm going to describe exactly what you get in Versus mode and tell you whether it's worth it.

Read about it after the jump.

As you may or may not know, when you finish Resident Evil 5, you unlock Mercenaries mode. You can play Mercenaries mode solo, or with another player. You begin with access to a single location from the game. Select one of two characters each with a predetermined set of upgraded weapons. You start out in the execution plaza choosing between Chris with a shotgun or Sheva with an SMG/sniper rifle combo. Now try to score as many points as you can in a set amount of time. If you do well enough, you'll unlock the next location. If you do really well, you'll unlock a new character.

But Versus mode doesn't make you fuss with unlocking the locations. All eight are available from the start. You can host competitive games for up to four players at any of these locations. However, you have to spend points to unlock the characters. These points are easy to come by just by playing the game, in single player or multiplayer. But since the characters are increasingly powerful, they're also increasingly expensive.

For example, Jill costs a measly 5000 points and isn't much better than Sheva or Chris. But uber-villain Wesker costs 50,000 points and starts with a mess of hand grenades and the most powerful handgun in the game (so powerful I hadn't even heard of it until I read about it in the strategy guide). So if you've been spending your points on figurines and infinite ammo for your weapons in the single player game, ha ha! You're going to have to save up all over again to buy someone like Wesker.

Is this balanced for multiplayer? Absolutely not.

Which is one of a couple reasons Versus mode is going to be discouraging for those of us who strictly dabble in Resident Evil 5. Since both of the new game types in Versus mode are competitive, I expect it's going to quickly fill with really good players running around as Wesker and making me lose early and often. Of the randomly matched games I played on the day the mode was released, I came in last place every single time, and I saw plenty of Weskers.

Versus mode can be played as a directly competitive game called Survivor where you only get points for damaging other players. It can also be played as an indirectly competitive mode called Slayer where you mainly get points for killing zombies. It can be a free-for-all or a 2-vs.-2 match. Either way, it's all about who has the most points when the time runs out. Unfortunately, you can't play it split-screen, which is an option available for Mercenaries mode. Boo, Capcom!

So is it any good?

I have to confess that, yes, it's quite good. As much as I'd love to be in a high dudgeon about Capcom's shameless ploy to rearrange a few simple ingredients to get my five bucks -- and I promise I'm appropriately indignant! -- I can't deny that it's a spirited and refreshing take on multiplayer action. The gunplay in Resident Evil 5 is unique, the locations are interesting, and the rounds are short. It translates beautifully into multiplayer once you're playing with people who aren't exponentially better than you.

It's especially effective for the way it never abandons Resident Evil's central conceit of being a game about zombies. You're never safe from those guys even in the Versus modes. Zombies always figure into a match one way or another. In Slayer, you're focused on killing them for points. But in Survivor, you need to kill them to get better weapons. And you can't simply camp in one spot because they'll constantly be shuffling (or worse!) towards you. It's a perfect combination of deathmatching with the zombie apocalypse.

But I'm still irked about the five dollars! You hear me Capcom? Jerks! By the way, if you're reading Electronic Arts, let this be a lesson to you: make a game that I really like and I will roll over when you try to nickel-and-dime me for additional content.