Confession time: It took me five tries until I was satisfied with my starting situation. I played a little ways into several games before throwing my hands up and calling a mulligan. A couple of times, I just stalled for stupid reasons, such as, "oh, look, I've founded a city with no nearby commerce", or "gee, I just built a worker too early because I can't put a pasture on those pigs for another thirty turns". In one game, I was hemmed into a barren valley with scant prospects for city growth. In another, I began with a goblin fort looming over my starting position. Then there was the time I was humiliated by a polar bear, but I'd just as soon not talk about that one.

After the jump, read about the one that finally took.

I am among rivers (commerce and fresh water!), pigs (pork chop sandwiches!), and a unique landmark called The Standing Stone (I had to look that one up, and frankly, I'm not impressed). My settlers whip out their magic dowsing rods (i.e. they make a beeline for the blue circle that the game has decided is a good place for a city, even though I can't see the things around the blue circle that lead the game to recommend the place). The settlers discover a prime place for Jubilee, the Belseraph capital, on the coast of a wide bay with corn nearby (tortillas!). Meanwhile, my scout visits various niggardly native settlements. 27 gold? 26 gold? 48 gold? That's all you guys got? How about a brand new technology or something? Jerks.

Near my starting position is a lizardman occupying some ruins. At the southern end of a continent I occupy, there's a goblin fort. A griffon is flitting about. On turn 26, a volcano erupts three squares from my starting city. My starting warrior survives a giant spider attack and is immediately dubbed Spiderkiller. He goes on to kill polar bears, lions, the griffon, and then the lizardman on the nearby ruins. Inside the ruins, he gets bronze weapons. On turn 71, he comes across a native settlement that looses three barbarian warriors. He kills two of them and is killed by the third. RIP Spiderkiller. We will always remember your bronze weapons flashing in the sun and slicing into polar bear flanks.

I've got three cities going, I'm researching tech to improve my tech research, and I've got a worker improving the terrain.

At this point, you might have the idea that this is pretty much just like Civilization IV. But on turn 76, things get very Fall from Heaven with the announcement that Orthus has arrived.

This guy is a real pain if he arrives near you. He will kill your armies, roll over your cities, and might lead you to proclaim Fall from Heaven "not fun". Over the next several turns, barbarians start streaming in at my cities. They're mostly annoying little goblins, but they're tearing up my corn farm (no more tortillas) and the wineries I've set up in a cluster of wine fields (no more Chateau de Belseraph). I expect Orthus to bring up the rear with his bad-ass axe at any moment. By turn 100, he hasn't showed up yet. So far, so good.

What's weird at this point is that I haven't yet run into another player. Where is everyone? I seem to have a huge swathe of land all to myself, which is the perfect opportunity for some economic "booming". Time to recruit some help. Each civilization gets unique heroes. These are incredibly powerful units, sort of like a cross between a Wonder of the World and a military unit. The hero for Belseraph, who is perfect for all manner of tomfoolery as well as some puppet-driven booming, will arrive on turn 102.

Up next: Loki, the Clown Prince of Jubilee

(Read the previous Fall from Heaven II game diary here.)