Ubisoft's console real time strategy game, EndWar, now has ten bucks worth of new stuff available for download. Well, Ubisoft's idea of ten bucks worth of new stuff. The "Escalation Pack" adds four new maps and three new unit upgrades.

But EndWar is less about the maps than your typical RTS. Terrain and visuals play a relatively small part in the game, which is almost entirely about the interaction of different types of units. Furthermore, the new maps can't be used in the game's single-player campaign, which is one of EndWar's biggest selling points. The Escalation Pack's only addition to the campaign mode is a single new upgrade for each faction. An IGN preview makes it sound downright sexy.

The Russian faction will now have tanks that can be upgraded to Attack rank 7. This adds a 12.7mm Utes air defense machine gun that adds effectiveness against air units, the normal bane of a tanks existence. The US Joint Strike Force will have access to rank 6 Attack for gunships. This adds a thermobaric warhead that adds incendiary damage to hardened targets. Finally, over on the European Federation, transports will have an Attack 7 upgrade that adds computerized targeting. This adds accuracy for all weapons, improving the overall efficiency of the unit.

12.7mm Utes? Thermobaric? Totally hawt! But entirely meaningless. I've played the dickens out of this game and I'm not even sure what "incendiary damage against hardened targets" is supposed to mean. Uplink structures? Armored units? Garrisoned infantry? World-weary burned-out soldiers without feelings? The fact of the matter is these upgrades are minor changes that only a few players will see and only for a very thin sliver of overall playing time. The anti-aircraft ability for Russian tanks could be significant, but otherwise, these upgrades are the equivalent of adding +5% hit points to one particular unit after you've played a campaign for twenty missions. It's absurd to charge money for tweaks like these.

IGN's Erik Brudvig concludes his preview with the following bald-faced lie:

It's a lot to sort through and clearly a major expansion for Ubisoft's console strategy game.

I was okay with the anemic Far Cry 2 downloadable content because I wear a heart-shaped set of blinders when it comes to that game. I'm just the sucker they're targeting. Fortunately, EndWar is a nicely cerebral game that I can regard a bit more soberly. As much as I like EndWar (it was my fifth favorite game of 2008!), I'm not falling for this one. There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, it's probably in Tennessee that says fool me once, etc., etc.