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Banjo-Kazooie Nuts & Bolts: you must be this smart to play this game
This is the first in an infinity-part series about how I am an idiot.
In this case, it involves a mission in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. There are two icebergs, Mildred and George, who've gotten separated, one of them having wandered off into the desert like some prophet. I have to reunite them. One iceberg (Mildred? George? I'm not about to peer impudently at an iceberg's bits to try to determine its gender) is on top of a snowy hill where the mission starts. The other is at the bottom of the hill, in the desert, at the far end of a ramp made out of a giant scarf. I have to drive this mission with a bulldozer sort of car thingie. So I carefully scoop up the iceberg (Mildred? George?) to try to push him (her?) down the hill to the other iceberg.
Read how well that works out after the jump.
Something weird keeps happening, because as soon as I get to the lip of the scarf/ramp, the iceberg (Mildred? George?) shatters. Maybe I'm not pushing it gently enough. I try many times. Maybe as many as a dozen. The stupid iceberg keeps shattering. I can't even get it onto the scarf. Shatter, shatter, shatter.
This mission is hard. Really hard. I don't even see how little kids could do it, much less an adult like me. I have shattered Mildred or George many times. You'd think the game would realize that I'm just not cut out for reuniting long-lost iceberg couples. You'd think it would finally just say, "Okay, you're an idiot, so you don't have to do this mission. Here, have a free pass." But no, it doesn't say this. Mildred (or is it George?) continues to meet her (his?) grisly end, again and again. Shatter, shatter, shatter.
So I give up on Banjo-Kazooie Nuts & Bolts. I consider writing a scathing review and maybe giving it a 7.4 on the usual game review scale of 7-9. I will mention how the missions are too hard. I will talk about the stupid iceberg shattering.
But like many games I hate, I decide to give it one more whirl before dumping it into the closet of stuff I hate next to Wii Fit, Shaun White Snowboarding, and Animal Crossing. The main reason I want to give it another whirl is because a friend mentioned that he'd beaten a mission by simply getting out of the car and grabbing the item in question. I will try this with George (Mildred?).
Sure enough, I can pick up George (Mildred?) and carry him (her?) down the scarf into the desert area to reunite him (her?) with the long-lost beloved other iceberg! And I do it with plenty of time to spare. It was that easy.
But wait, the mission isn't finishing. I try repositioning the icebergs closer to each other. I nudge them. I lift them. I press the talk button but they have nothing to say. I try jumping. Slapping the jump button for no discernible reason is a sure sign of cluelessness. In all my years of videogaming, I have never once accomplished anything by just slapping the jump button, but I continue to try it anyway.
And that's when I realize I am an idiot. Why would the icebergs want to be reunited in the desert? The wayward one is the dude (chick?) down in the desert. My task was to drive down the ramp and then scoop him (her?) up the scarf ramp to the iceberg that is sensibly hanging out on the snowy mountain. Once I realize this, I am able to do it on the first try. I even get a Thomas Trophy for doing it particularly well.
I am an idiot.
Tomorrow: I wise up a little. Just a little.
By budgethero at 12:30 PM ON 12/04/08
that's ok, we all get a little stupid sometimes.
By player1 at 6:50 PM ON 12/04/08
I think this might be a case of the developers getting it right. Kid logic is based very much on where stuff belongs and some pretty set rules. They get confused when you ad lib well known stories (my niece always screams that "That's not how it goes" when little red riding hood smacks grandma over the head with a frypan) and they learn mainly through association. A is for Apple, the sky is blue, sky scrapers are tall and ice is cold. So kid logic automatically knows that icebergs don't belong in the desert so they would try and fix that.
Gamer logic might be that if a mission says to get 2 things together we try and get them together as easily as possible. And good design would then tell us if the end game scenario has not been met, and why not.
I like the game design school of thought championed by Peter Molyneux who believes that people should be able to finish his games by pressing one button. They can do 'better' in the game if they master more, but they should be able to finish it relatively easily. (http://www.edge-online.com/news/a-fable-masses)
Games like the Lego Batman/Indiana Jones/Star Wars series also do this, not allowing you to die, and I think games aimed at kids (although the ambiguity of at whom it's aimed is kind of your point here) should be very aware of where their blockers are and how best to minimise them. In the current example, getting them together in any way completes the stage (maybe unhappy at being bulldozed down the hill), getting them together gently gets you more/better rewards, and getting them together in the ice is the best way to beat the stage. Takes more effort, but makes a more accessible game that then appeals to players of many ages and abilities.
By Tom Chick at 7:33 PM ON 12/04/08
I think this instance is partly a matter of me not reading the text closely enough (I can't be bothered reading through the bad jokes and baby talk). Plus, the game has never before (or since!) started me at the objective rather than the starting point, so that was a little confusing.
But great post, Mr. 1! There is a little bit of variability in the BK missions based on how well you do, and it's clearly displayed on a gauge at the top of the screen as you're playing. In the iceberg example, it's simply a timer. But some of the other missions have more variability. I'll be talking more about those shortly.
By Intruder at 8:56 AM ON 12/05/08
To be honest the moment you had outlined the layout of the quest I knew that you had to get the iceberg in the desert back to the mountain because otherweise it would melt in the long run. Pure kid logic it seems but there is the problem: I'm over 30. :p
Intruder:
To be honest the moment you had outlined the layout of the quest I knew that you had to get the iceberg in the dese...More »