Damn comedians

a masterpiece, buy it for the sake of canada!

The Too Human manual does not list credits. Perplexing and disappointing.
www.xbox.com/NR/rdonlyres/A09FB54B-BB4D-49EF-8AC7-E30A7C883CC3/0/TooHuman_MNL.PDF

for #9... i think its more logical than you're reading it... Its saying that your fear shouldn't guide your sword hand, not that your courage shouldn't guide your fear.

Dave, that is obviously what they meant, but Tom's having some fun with awkward construction of the sentence.

We need a Bulwer-Lytton contest for game writing.

Re: Dave
That might have been the way the sentence was intended to be constructed, but the positioning of the word "your" with both fear and sword hand leads the reader to believe that the speaker is contrasting what courage is driving.

Bad voice acting and writing are almost great. I still remember the FMV from Warhawk from how bad the lines were.

did you see that the game is a play on norse mythology and NOT get that the people in the game are talking like vikings? haven't you seen the Thirteenth Warrior? this is all viking warrior talk mixed with soldier chatter.

"Come on boys lets party" is viking warrior talk?"
Damn comedians

I guess that "Come on boys, let's pillage" was too much for the ESRB.

Much like what "Budgethero" said, these kinds of things are in reference to the way the vikings talked and did things.

If one reads such things as the Havamal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A1vam%C3%A1l) or the many Icelandic Sagas (for this game I would recommend Njal's or Egil's saga as you get to see what the vikings defined as "humor.") the quotes make far more sense. Throw in the "soldiers" aspect and I think they did a good job.

By the by, the Norns are beings of "Fate" that control men and gods destinies in the Germanic Pantheon, it makes sense they would hold the information they do. They just made an interesting acronym out of their name.

... and yes, I actually laughed at the "Valkerie wings" joke.

In other words, the developers went and actually researched the Norse ways of looking at the world and incorporated their viewpoint into the dialog.

Go read a book occasionally, its amazing what you'll learn.

So in order to appreciate the dialogue, I need to go get my BA in Norse Mythology? No.

...Are you serious? So you're actually implying that people stop putting in various allegorical references to the source material, just because most people won't understand it fully? You don't have to have your BA in Norse Mythology to play the game and play it to it's fullest extent, but having one will obviously make you enjoy it much more thoroughly. They're easter eggs, jesus. And apparently clever ones at that.

Jesus, that's like saying no game should ever reference anything outside of the game just for fear that people may not understand it.

This entire article is unfunny and completely biased to play off the constant bashing this game is getting. Number 9 is just you misinterpreting the dialogue, because anyone with any bit of reading comprehension will be able to understand how completely WRONG you are about its meaning. Secondly, you're just bashing this game for the sake of bashing it. There are DOZENS if not HUNDREDS of other games with dialogue just as mediocre (note: NOT TERRIBLE) and no one here seems to be picking it apart.

Grow a spine and form your own opinions, jesus. I haven't read up on this game, haven't played it, don't care about ratings. But god damn you guys are being stupid.

You could sit an infinite number of Shakespeares at an infinite number of keyboards and never get prose this elegant or noteworthy. Tom, you've stumbled onto a hidden gem of literature that the greatest minds of time will not easily forget.

I can't wait for the Fallout 3 edition.

I love this article, but I fear TH fans will descend upon ye with the fury of mighty Mjolnir. Can they understand? By Odin's beard, I say ye nay, I say ye never!! By the hoary hosts of hoggoth!

Wait, never mind that last line. It was from a Dr. Strange comic, not Thor.

Wow, If this is the only complaint, I can’t wait to play this game. It seems like you had to really try hard to find something wrong with this.

Ya, Prophet. This review is totally crappy. I mean, he didn't even bother to rate it on the 7-9 scale. How can we trust him?

Nifty article, and some fun lines there. But I must say those tasteless quotes of fetid language pale in comparison to any of the lines uttered aloud in any of the Dead or Alive Games. That stuff is mind blowing!

How can we trust a review written by someone who portrays a celebration of the gay lifestyle on the Jew-controlled network television?

This is a terrible review!

Don't you have a doorman guarding the comments section Mr Chick?

Now I know you forgot to put a score on this review, so was it 6.5 or 6.7? I gotta know!

Or are you frozen with cold stagnation, the fear soaking in your armor, guiding your scoring hand as you lay on your marble slab in hell, agonized shrieks calling the monsters here, unable to execute the will of the readers, to give us a review score? Bring on your worst!

Leave Steven out of this!

And you forgot "Senator"

"I'll take you to the bank, Senator.....The Blood Bank!"

Ahhhh classic.

You are a git of a journalist. Nice of you to pick apart dialog before anyone even has a chance to play the game and put it into context. I could make sense of just about all your excerpts and they made sense to me without your negative interpretation of each.

I'm sorry was this supposed to be funny? You have too much free time on your hands.

Why don't you try to "upgrade" your brainless head with major version? This isn't a game for you, for sure. Try something less deep, space invaders should be ok.

All of the quotes make since except for the first one, which is status quo sci-fi speak. Sorry, but this is a poor article.

The useage of "lay" in the first comment ranked number 1 is entirely correct, so why would everyone go silent while pondering whether to correct it?

9) "Make sure courage guides your sword hand, not your fear."
Why would courage guide your fear? That makes no sense.

Dumbass it means dont let your fear guide your sword !

You forgot:

"Today is a good day to die"
"Oh, you always say that"

sigh...

Y'all are QTs

Those lines are no better or worse than you would see in any RPG. Also, you're not a very good writer.

Now i believe the review werent fake

Um this is a joke right? So what we have here is another Sony fanboy who is upset Haze was a flop so they are trying to invent a flop on 360, this was the lamest sh%t I have read in a long time, most of the dialogue he is making fun of made perfect sense and he is the idiot for not understanding what it meant!!!

TOO FLOP

look at everyone getting mad over DIALOGUE!

And look at the fanboys responding in the commentary (who are obviously not gamers and act like communists. Its true just look at them on both sides. They act the same.)

For the people who understand Vikings god bless you. But how many people left on this planet are a Viking or a descendant of a Viking? Is there a class for Viking history? Because all I have learned from history was that they loved to ride on boats.

My question is: Do they tell you in the game that they are Vikings or not? If not then this could be the reason for the nit picking. Viking: Battle for Asguard lets you know from the title that it is about Vikings so you expect to hear them talk wierd. More than 95% of video games these days have the english linguistic structure in the dialogue.

Ask a kid who has played this game what he thought of the dialogue and you'll get this article.

You know, just because you do it in some kind of 'article' (and I use the term loosely), doesn't mean its not trolling.

On the other hand, if you honestly don't understand how the English language actually works then what are you doing posting things on the internet? Seriously?

MockerOfMockers: Entirely correct?

"You lay down the book you’ve been reading, but you lie down when you go to bed."
-- Common Errors in English

I do like how even with all this hatin' flying around, no one took Tom Chick on about the whole "fetid" thing. *grins*

Actually, the usage of "lay" in "when I lay on a marble slab in hell" is indeed correct. Adding to the usual confusion is the fact that "lay" is the past tense of "lie".

I was going to add a mea culpa update up there, but then I noticed that I'd already left myself an out by the way it was phrased: everyone is wondering whether to correct Baldur's usage, because they're not even sure whether he was wrong. Ha! That's what I meant to say. Yep, that's totally what I meant!

Nice save!

Now watch, someone's going to bust out a totally natural use of "fetid" and we're both screwed.

I've give you #2 - that's just funny. Also, as the notary of your bank, I shall smite thee!

And "If that's your best, then bring your worst" is just too badly done. It's completely one of those "YEAH! Uh, wait, what?" lines.

But the rest of the lines are pretty standard fare for an action rpg. Guys making big statements and killin' stuff. In fact, I love #1 - it's a bizarre mix of norse myth and modern stuff, which gets you in to feel. Except for, you know, let's party.

But the marble slab line is actually pretty good - I'm assuming it was some god that was thought dead accusing his new fanbois of false flattery and fetid feta fo' sho?

I'm pretty sure vikings didn't speak english, much less use accented and awful broken english when they did speak. There's no justification for this kind of awful writing in game. It's not in character, it's not funny or clever, it's just bad. As for all the TH fans, they'll be extinct as soon as this Hellgate London ripoff fades into obscurity...just like Hellgate London did. TH's developer bet on the wrong horse. No one likes space vikings except Swisgar and Toki from Metalocalypse.

Fighting on the internet is pointless

I hate you like I hate all the other reviewers, you don't even understand what these phrases entitled. I'm pretty sure you didn't even play the whole game, and how could you not understand the storyline your payed to do so.

Too Human 2 is going to be the best game ever!...i mean it.....you wont see it coming.....only fans of too human 1 know this....sk are working on ground breaking skytearing new features that will shatter all epicness in videogames!!hahahahahhaha....but seriously!...ye hear meeeeee

This article reeks like a fetid pool of raw sewage. Pick on something more rational like the awkward game controls or the limited number of enemies. Picking on dialogue (poorly!) is just a waste of time.

The only line that made me groan was some background chatter from the NPCs in Aesir. The "tour guide" lady says to the folks gathered around her:
"The Aesirs deign us with their presence here." (or something to that effect.) The word "deign" is totally incorrect in that usage and it makes me wonder if that particular bit of dialogue was written by someone for whom English is a second language.

It should have been "The Aesir deign to live among us here" or something along those lines.

For the record, that was not enough to ruin the game for me.

awesome