Great news! I somehow seem to have lost 17.6 pounds! Here I was trying to lose five pounds in two weeks, and now the Balance Board ™ is telling me that I've lost more than three times that amount in less than half the time I intended. The Balance Board ™ says it's concerned about my health, but then it carries on about how it's pleased I've reached my goal well in advance of my deadline. The Balance Board ™ is kind of freaking me out with these mixed messages.

I have no idea what to make of this. I'm pretty sure I haven't lost 17.6 pounds. The Balance Board ™ sometimes says things like, 'Hey, your weight changed since last time I weighed you. Do you want to keep Wii Fitting?' I figured these were just minor variations and I carried on. Could I have a defective Balance Board ™? Is it about to acquire sentience or eject me into space or try to impregnate Julie Christie?

I ponder this while I'm doing the long distance run, which is – as you'd expect – more boring than the short distance run because it's longer. It skirts the little town down by the water and crosses a suspension bridge. Big whoop. This might have been cool with graphics that didn't look borrowed from an N64. The manual suggests that I try to spot fifteen hidden Nintendo icons scattered around Wii Fit Island, as it's called. That's what I get to do when I work out with Wii Fit. Look for Nintendo graffiti.