Rockstar has released a patch for Grand Theft Auto IV. Based on the notes, it's just a bunch of multiplayer fixes. Much to my chagrin, it apparently does nothing to fix my relationship with Carmen Ortiz.

I've been out with that woman on numerous dates. I've endured frequent calls and text messages and talk about how she wants to be on TV and how she hates her job as a nurse and how she just got her nails done. We've even, umm, "been intimate". Yet when I'm injured and need her medical skills, which she assured me would be helpful in return for my efforts, they almost never work. Half the time she just sasses me, but even when she claims she's helping me, nothing happens. Health boost, my foot.

This happened to me most recently while I was trying to ramp a motorcycle off the Civilization Committee building to finish the Dare Devil achievement. The Civilizaiton Committee is Liberty City's version of the UN, so you can imagine that the police don't like people messing around there. They called out a helicopter, which shot me up as I was trying to line up the jump. Carmen's attempt to heal me over the phone was a sham. Carmen Ortiz is a lying hussy who's been using me.

Carmen, if you're reading this: Niko would take you out more often if you'd heal Niko like you promised.