Wii Fit came out in Japan over the holidays. It has sold nearly one and a half million copies. That's a lot. However, Nintendo expects to sell twice that number here in the US, because we're fat and lazy. They didn't actually say that last part about us being fat and lazy, but I'm sure it's what they were thinking.

Having grown fat and lazy myself since the release of Grand Theft Auto (couch time so far: 73 hours, 14 minutes) I've decided to join the three million Americans who Nintendo will whip into shape. I unpack Wii Fit, which consists of a Wii game and a scale that will probably be used to measure how fat I am.

Upon setting everything up, I discover this is no scale. It is the Wii Balance Board ™, and the main character in Wii Fit, where it's far more animated than it is in real life. In the game, it tells me all kinds of guff about balance: how it affects posture, how it's the key to harmonious life, how it shapes us and what we do, blah blah blah. Pretty much anything it says about "balance", you could sub in "The Force" and it would make just as much sense.

First, I have to set up my profile. I note sardonically that the default is two inches shorter and nine years earlier than me. Then I'm asked how much my clothes weigh. This is a tough question. I've never considered the weight of my clothes. Ten pounds, two pound, six ounces? Who knows? Just to be on the safe side, I close the blinds, take off all my clothes, and select zero. I'm sorry for the mental picture just inflicted on you, but I didn't want to be punished for underestimating the weight of clothing.

The results come in quickly. My BMI is 22. I have no idea what that means, but on the displayed scale, it's a bit closer to "Overweight" than I like. I remind myself to Wikipedia BMI as soon as I get down off this Balance Board ™. Then I set a goal to lose 5 pounds in two weeks and I start training. I will train once a day for two weeks. I will measure myself daily. With Nintendo at my side (well, under my feet, actually), I will make a commitment to work hard and lose that weight and get into shape and be fit, Wii Fit.

Starting tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to do a few vigilante missions in Algonquin.